Toast & Marriage

I HATE making toast, specifically toast with jelly. It's messy and sticky and it mashes the bread when you spread it. It annoys me, so if I am ever making you toast(with jelly), you know I like you a whole bunch. What does making toast have to do with marriage? Well, there was a time in my marriage that if I was making Matt toast, I would stand there and cus him under my breath. I did it but I loathed it and at the time I don't think either of us had warm and fuzzy feelings for the other. Marriage is by far one of the hardest things I've ever done. I didn't have the greatest example of what a strong marriage was. My dad left when I was 9, right before my 10th birthday. My mom eventually remarried my step-dad and unfortunately he just wasn't the soft huggy-feely type. The short version: I had no idea what I was getting myself into when Matt and I got married. In the beginning, you get engaged and all is right with the world. You see hearts and flowers and little butterflies floating around your fiances' head. Later on you see tasers and pitchforks... But here's the deal that no one really shared with me - It's a commitment, through the hearts, through the pitchforks. There was a time in my marriage that I honestly didn't know if we would make it. We have both worked so hard and both understand now how much we would miss if we just gave up. It also wasn't just about us anymore. God gave us 2 beautiful boys that depend on us to show them how to succeed, and not giving up is huge. It's our job to give them the tools and be an example of what this looks like. I didn't have that luxury and therefore I tended to look for the easy way out and want to run baby, run. I realized with prayer and God's help that running would not solve anything and my children deserved much better from me. I've had people tell me that it looks like I have the perfect marriage. I like to think that now I have the most perfectly imperfect marriage and I am so satisfied with that. We work on us everyday, in little ways and big. I love him and now I don't hate making his toast with jelly - as much.