One Eyed, One Horned, Flying Purple People Pleaser

OK, that's NOT how the song goes. HOWEVER, it IS a monster. The People Pleasing Monster can take over when you least expect it. You think you're just doing the right thing by being helpful and passive. You're just an easy going gal and it feels so good when you say yes to people and they know they can depend on you. Then, CHOMP, CHOMP, GULP! The monster just ate you all up and now there is nothing left of you!

So, how do you get the monster to spit you out and restore the person God created you to be? (Nice analogy, huh?) Well, you have to start by asking yourself why you say yes to everything. Do you do it so others will like you or because you genuinely want to fill up your spare time by helping out? Do you say yes because saying no just seems so mean and you can't bear to hurt some one's feelings? Hmmmm. All of those? First, let me say that we are supposed to help others, absolutely. God wants us to be giving and helpful. But, there is a difference in doing what God created us to do and doing something because it somehow makes US feel better, less guilty or gives us a false sense of being. The People Pleasing Monster feeds off of our guilt and soon instead of being a thoughtful and dependable friend, we are the martyr. The one that ALWAYS ends up doing it all because NO ONE else cares like we do. THAT, is the false sense of being that God does not want from us.
Get rid of your guilt, God doesn't want you burnt out, dried up and angry. He wants you well rested, filled up and happy. So guess what? You get to say NO!

I myself have been eaten up by the People Pleasing Monster and have felt so empty and tired. I want to be able to WANT to help and so before I say anything to anyone, I make sure to tell them I need to get back to them but I will as soon as I can. I then check my calendar and if I'm busy on the very day of the favor, then I know the answer without a doubt. If I'm not busy that day but have 10 things happening before and after I literally go to God and if I have peace about it and know it's for Him and not out of some sort of guilt on my part then I happily agree to it. If I'm exhausted and just have that feeling of not wanting someone to be mad, I say NO. God enjoys a happy giver, not a reluctant giver. I always thought that meant money in the offering plate but it also has to be about giving of ourselves.
It may seem confusing but it will free you and it will free you to be a true giver. I used to want credit from others and want to be recognized for my hard work. If someone forgot to say thank you, I was genuinely offended. I mean, excuse me? I just went out of my way for you, punk! Ah, now I have the chip off my shoulder because I say no when it's right to say no and if I say yes, it is to honor God - NOT ME!
Recently, I helped out with my church through what is called Project Reach. Our church has begun reaching out to the community and truly giving time, food, fun, etc to those that are less fortunate. The event was a party for the under-privileged children that go to the school we do church in. They don't get opportunities to go to Chuck E Cheese or Incredible Pizza, etc. I face-painted kids faces, hands and arms for 2 hours and had a blast! This morning the pastor said that he thought it was awesome that we "gave up" part of our Saturday to help those kids have a party. What came to my mind was how I didn't feel like I gave anything up at all. This HAS to be what it feels like to give for God and not ourselves - not a sacrifice.
Not when you know what He sacrificed for us.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not anything like the people pleaser I once was but that stupid monster tries to sneak up on me still. Maybe I should get some pepper spray as well, just in case.